The NFL Holiday Cinematic Universe: Casting Players in a Hallmark Christmas Rom-Com
- elizabethmacbey
- Dec 5, 2025
- 5 min read
Move over, Marvel, step aside, Barbie Land, the real cinematic event of the season is the NFL Holiday Cinematic Universe, where quarterbacks become small-town love interests, coaches learn the true meaning of Christmas, and at least one team experiences a third-act collapse that would make even Hallmark writers say: “Okay, that’s too dramatic.”
Grab your hot chocolate (or your team-induced stress beverage of choice) and let’s cast the ultimate Hallmark Christmas Rom-Com featuring today’s NFL stars.
The Cast
Brock Purdy - The Small-Town Christmas Tree Farm Boy
The camera pans to a rustic tree farm in Northern California. Snowflakes fall. Acoustic guitar plays. Brock Purdy appears in a flannel shirt, holding a perfectly symmetrical spruce like it’s no big deal.
He’s humble. He’s polite. He absolutely does not believe in the commercialism of the big city. But when fate drops a high-powered marketing executive (also known as a visiting NFC playoff rival) into his town, Brock must decide between:
Saving the family tree farm, and
Following his heart all the way to the Super Bowl.
Spoiler: he might be able to do both.
Travis Kelce - The Chaotic Big-City Love Interest
Confident. Stylish. Slightly unhinged in a charming way. He orders peppermint lattes like it’s a personality trait.
He waltzes into the film wearing a coat that costs more than the film’s budget, trips over a decorative sleigh, and somehow lands the most dramatic entrance of the entire movie. Rom-com rule: the chaotic love interest always has a heart of gold and a very loud family.
His tagline: “He didn’t believe in Christmas until he met… her.” (Her = a divisional rival he’ll attempt to stiff-arm into a snowbank next Sunday.)
CJ Stroud - The Wholesome High-School-Sweetheart Character
He’s the boy next door. He’s the golden-hearted future of the franchise. He has “writes her a Christmas card every year” energy.
CJ’s arc is simple: He must prove that you can be talented, composed, and emotionally available, something absolutely unheard of in any holiday rom-com male lead.
His big third-act moment? Saving the town’s holiday festival and clinching a playoff spot while wearing a beanie knitted by his grandma.
Dan Campbell - The Town Mayor With a Heart of Gold
Every Hallmark town has a beloved mayor who fights to keep the holiday spirit alive. In our universe, that’s Dan Campbell.
Picture him giving inspirational speeches to:
Save the town square
Rally a brokenhearted heroine
Defeat a rival town’s Christmas parade in a dramatic showdown
He ends every emotional monologue with something like: “NOW LET’S BITE THE KNEECAPS OFF THIS HOLIDAY SEASON.”
The townspeople cheer. Children cry tears of joy. A local bakery sells out instantly.
Jalen Hurts - The Brooding Carpenter Who’s Secretly Soft
He builds chairs. He chops wood. He never smiles… until she drops her stack of gingerbread house supplies and he catches her hand with perfect timing.
Jalen is the walking embodiment of the “grumpy exterior, marshmallow interior” trope. He has a tragic backstory involving a lost Christmas ornament and a blown lead years ago.
But when he finally lets down his guard? CUE THE SNOWFALL.
Tyreek Hill - The Quirky Best Friend With Exaggerated Dramatic Timing
Every Hallmark movie needs the comedic best friend who shows up unannounced, creates 60% of the chaos, and somehow gives life-changing advice.
Tyreek pops into every scene like: “GIRL, IF YOU DON’T GO AFTER HIM, I WILL RUN THERE FOR YOU.”
He appears suddenly. He disappears suddenly. He travels 30 yards in 2.7 seconds. He’s magic. He’s chaos. He’s perfect.
Patrick Mahomes - The Overworked Big-City CEO Who Needs to Slow Down
Mahomes is the classic “I don’t have time for love or holidays” corporate guy.
Emails? Constant.
Phone calls? Always. Christmas decorations? Can’t you see I’m working?!
But then he’s forced to spend a week in a small festive town (aka Buffalo). He learns the true meaning of teamwork, community, and resting his ankle.
By the end, he’s wearing a Christmas sweater unironically.
Josh Allen - The Golden Retriever-Lawyer Who Works Too Much
Allen stars as the big-hearted, chaos-prone professional who hasn’t taken a day off since 2019.
He bumps into the heroine in a grocery store while holding 47 bags of flour for a charity bake sale. He means well. He tries hard. He will absolutely fall off a ladder while putting up lights. But he always gets back up.
Puka Nacua - The Christmas Market Cinnamon-Roll Vendor
Every Hallmark town has that one charming vendor who sells:
Handmade ornaments
Knitted scarves
Surprisingly deep life advice
That’s Puka. He hands out free samples of peppermint bark and fixes everyone’s problems with a single heartwarming monologue. 10/10 would trust with all emotional plot arcs.
Micah Parsons - The Grumpy Sheriff With a Secret Soft Spot
Every town needs a Sheriff with opinions.
He spends the first half of the movie writing parking tickets during the Christmas festival…then shocks the town by showing up in Act III wearing a Santa hat, offering to help carry presents, and protecting the heroine from the evil corporate developer (probably a GM from the AFC South).
Growly exterior. Marshmallow center.
Baker Mayfield - The Local Bakery Owner Who Refuses to Sell Out
He runs “Mayfield’s Merry Muffins,” a business barely surviving the holiday rush. He burns half his pastries, talks too fast, and works too hard. But dammit, this bakery has heart.
He’s the comedic romantic wildcard who somehow pulls off a last-second win AND a gingerbread-house-building montage.
Amon-Ra St. Brown - The Festival Coordinator Who Holds the Entire Town Together
Every holiday movie needs the character who:
Organizes the parade
Sets up the tree lighting
Saves the sled race
And has perfect hair while doing it
Amon-Ra doesn’t just plan the events, he WILLS THEM INTO EXISTENCE through sheer charisma and holiday sparkle.
Joe Burrow - The Charming Big-City Journalist Who Learns to Slow Down
He arrives from New York in an absurdly long coat to write a takedown piece on “Small-Town Christmas Magic™.” He thinks he’s too cool for cocoa. He says things like, “I don’t do Christmas.”
But then he meets the heroine, discovers the beauty of twinkle lights, and suddenly becomes the man who volunteers to judge the gingerbread contest.
Classic transformation arc.
Myles Garrett - The Gentle Giant Who Runs the Town’s Animal Rescue
If you don’t think Hallmark would cast Myles Garrett as the soft-spoken guy who cares for abandoned puppies…You don’t understand Hallmark.
He’s the type who shows up holding a kitten and says: “I didn’t think she’d survive the night… but she pulled through.” Entire audience: melts into candy-cane goo.
The Final Scene
Snow begins to fall. The lights of the stadium twinkle like the tree in the town square. The entire cast gathers on the 50-yard line to sing a tasteful (but slightly off-key) holiday carol.
A narrator (probably Jason Kelce) closes with: “In the NFL Holiday Cinematic Universe, love wins, football wins, and everyone, except the Raiders, gets their happy ending.”
Fade to credits. Cue snow. Roll outtakes featuring Dan Campbell hugging everyone.
Edited By: Megan Livengood
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